Bleh with Barry

Random with a cynical twist of lime.

Scattered: An Ode to Chaos

with 4 comments

Right now, I am on a rollercoaster as far as my life. Why? Because I have placed myself there. I know that it may not seem like I need to be blogging with the amount of stuff that I have to do; however, it seems to be the only thing that is keeping me sane at the present moment in time.

Along with teaching 3 classes (with the nearing of the end of the semester, the grading is getting a little chaotic) and tutoring in our school’s writing center (around 17-20 hours a week), I am also involved in things that I love to do but have also realized that I may have bitten off more than I can chew. Doing two plays in a semester along with being in 2 choirs is kind time consuming to do. Some days I look at what I’ve accomplished for that day and think that I’m lucky to fit it all in….(believe me much prioritization goes into this…some things suffer. However, I give full attention to my job. After all, that is what I’m getting paid to do. And if I don’t, 40 some odd people are not going to be getting the attention and time they deserve).

Don’t get me wrong….I’m not bitching because I’m doing all these things. Matter of factly, I love to do all the things that I’ve mentioned. It’s just that I feel like I may be slacking time wise on some of them. I’m also trying to get my future life together as well. I’m planning on returning to Graduate school in the fall…and have yet to give this the full attention that it deserves  because I’m a person who focuses on the present. However, I’ve been seeing that I do need to devote some time to these “future” prospects because I do want to get my Master’s degree…yet, I feel on some level that myself is trying to undermine me…who knows?

I’m actually writing this to myself to tell myself: “Self, you need to suck it up and do everything. Also, invest in a PDA because that would probably help make your life a little more organized.” Now, all of you out there in the interweb may be thinking that I’m crazy, but I”m hoping that this will help organize the chaos of my mind by writing it all down and seeing what tips others might have for me.

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Written by barryr22

March 24, 2010 at 2:08 pm

Posted in life

Tagged with , , , ,

4 Responses

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  1. Barry, I’ve been there – almost exactly. I worked at Martin for a year between graduating and starting my Master’s degree. On some level, there was a part of me that didn’t want to leave, even though I knew graduate school was right for me. Not only was I a part of a community where I felt I belonged, but I was contributing and being paid to do what I loved. It was tough to leave, but also tough to make “getting ready to leave” a priority. I wish I had some advice, but it is just something you have to decide to do.
    “Make up your mind that you’ll try again, Make up your mind there are moments of light.”

    I know you’ll do it. You’ll go to grad school, succeed, and do great things. I hope our paths cross again.

    Mark

    March 24, 2010 at 6:37 pm

    • Yeah, that’s where I’m at…I know that here I have stability, but I want to go on…I know that I will go on to grad school. It’s going to be this fall too. I actually got a call today about a Graduate Teaching Assistantship. I’m interviewing on Monday @9. I know that not sleeping well the past few days has made me a little pessimistic. I try to be a realist most of the time…that hasn’t failed me yet.

      Also, thanks (if I were speaking this it would sound more like thinks…damn Tennessee roots!) for quoting Next to Normal, the more I listen to it the more I love it…I also think the quote is very applicable. I too hope and am going to try to make sure our paths cross.

      barryr22

      March 24, 2010 at 11:40 pm

  2. I know how you feel, Barry. I feel that way a lot, too, especially with the just having gotten married. I wish I could offer you some sage-like advice and tell you that it all gets better. I can’t. Because I don’t know if it does. I have a strange feeling I’m always going to feel pulled in every different direction.

    The best (unsolicited) advice I can give you is this: get an iPhone. It’s the PDA you want and need. Plus, it’s awesome. You can’t argue with awesome. I live my life through this silly little machine.

    Professor Beej

    March 24, 2010 at 9:11 pm

    • Thanks for the support. I have been pondering an iPhone. They seem cool and to have the features that I need. I’m just antsy about doing it because of the extra media charge…I’m a cheapskate.

      barryr22

      March 24, 2010 at 11:36 pm


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