Mental Gymnastics
My mind feels like a butterfly clamped between the thumb and index finger of a young child…You may be wondering how something like this may be relevant to my random stream of thought in the world at large and on some hand it might not be connected at all…or maybe it’s more interconnected that anyone could ever dream.
In the past few weeks, I have went from working a job at a Kroger in Nashville doing multiple different things. On my off days, I would try to coordinate an upcoming move (which has just happened, matter-of-factly, I just moved…more on that in a bit). It was hectic to say the least between people needing me to do my job at the company and me needing well me to get prepared for a change of scenery.
The move finally happened, and now, I am settling into a new place. New apartment, new people, new job, new station in life for a while, new…well everything. I know that I might not have mentioned this in my blog thus far, but I am embarking on a new journey into a graduate program. As of right now, I don’t know what to think or feel other than nervous and a little scared because I’ve been out of formal academic classroom setting for a couple of years. I am antsy overall. To top this, I feel like a little fish in a big pond to use a very clichéd simile. I don’t know what to expect and am questioning my validity somewhat. Maybe it’s the first week jitters…who knows?
All I know is that I hope that as I begin to settle into a routine and get some semblance of familiarity and balance that life will begin to not feel like I am flapping fruitlessly in the chubby fingers of some child. While there is much more I could write, I believe that I might be sounding whiny or bitchy in some way…sooooo, I think that it’s better if I just leave it at that. C’est la vie.
I’d be worried if you DIDN’T feel this way. After a few weeks, it will feel completely natural. You’re bright enough to succeed there, so try not to stress too much.
Mark
August 18, 2010 at 3:14 pm
I’m with Mark – it’d be weird if you weren’t feeling a little at sea. Just know that you are awesome and can do anything you set your mind to. And, you always have people cheering you on from the little pond you came from.
Rachel
August 18, 2010 at 8:39 pm