Bleh with Barry

Random with a cynical twist of lime.

Do I Destroy Good Things?

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“Evil, be thou my good.”

                                –Paradise Lost by John Milton

A line from Milton’s masterpiece Paradise Lost is a fitting way to begin this post. Recently, I’ve come to the conclusion that I am a corrupter of things. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing; however, I feel like I am a powerful influence on people in general. Why? It might be because I’m charismatic, charming, friendly, warm person. I would like to think that I’m likable which might be why I feel like the Pied Piper leading people after me in my ways.

Not don’t get me wrong. I don’t think that I’m a completely bad person (probably should work on a better epigraph to begin my blog posts to try to convey this). I just feel like I could be better sometimes. I’m cynical, judgmental, crude, and many more things. I just don’t know where I was meant to fit in the grand scheme of things. Maybe, I’m supposed to be this way….

A couple of years ago, I was called “Conniving and manipulative” by a friend. At the time, I thought that she was just being a bitch. Yet, as time has passed, I don’t know what to say to her accusation. I am a little conniving and manipulative, but I would like to think that this is in a good way. I am a person who always plans (hence the conniving part). I am constantly making plans because one must always be prepared…and when you’re prepared, you have backup plans…and backup plans for the backup plans….just in case.  Planning is one of the things that makes me feel like I have some sort of control over the crazy world that I live in… As to the charge of being manipulative, I guess I can be at times. However, what human being isn’t? Seriously, think of the last time you were manipulated or that you manipulated someone. Was it within the last day? week? month? Again, it’s just one of those things…I don’t think that I’m anymore manipulative than anyone else out there. So, there you go.

Do I destroy good things? It is possible…I’m not denying that I can be a very influential person. If people choose to pick up my cynical and snippy air, what can I do? Am I to blame for such things?

Written by uncannynerdyguy

October 31, 2010 at 2:45 am

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