Bleh with Barry

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Archive for the ‘Gay Lesbian LGBT’ Category

A Letter to Someone Loved

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So I am posting this letter here because I feel like it needs to be in the air. It needs to have life breathed into it because I will never send it. I expressed my feelings, and the response was not unexpected. However, it still did not exonerate me of my feelings. When you tell someone who has breathed their heart out that “you don’t see it like that now, but maybe,” it creates so many feelings, but yah know.

The letter is here:

I know this might change the dynamic of our friendship and ripple out from there, which is why I’ve been hesitant to even say anything at all. I value our friendship. I think of you as one of my best friends, but I have been dealing with something for a little bit now. And I value honesty in all my relationships, so I feel like I need to tell you something that is very difficult for me as it will change things. Change is always scary, especially when you feel exceptionally vulnerable about the particular subject you need to discuss. But here it goes.

I’m in love with you. I had thought that these feelings had subsided and I wouldn’t have to worry about them again. However, here we are. I remember three years ago, I asked you out, and you said no in a nice way. And I took that rejection in stride. Rejection is a normal part of life, and we weren’t close then. But there have been things going on lately that feel different. Maybe we’re just getting closer (and maybe I’m fucking that closeness with this). Maybe the overthinker in me is clouding my vision, and I would do well not to even say this to you. But I do. I am—I find myself in love with you.

You are intelligent, kind, beautiful (inside and out), and so much more. You are just an all-around wonderful human, and I’m privileged to even know you. I feel a connection with you that I have only really felt with one other person throughout my life. I feel an electricity when I’m around you. You’re special. And this specialness permeates those people that are around you. And I don’t think you even realize this. Again, you are special, and I feel many common bonds with you.

I know I’m probably fucking up a friendship here by telling you all this. I hope not, but I have weighed out the cost here. I never do anything lightly. It’s not what I do, and I think you know that. I don’t know if you feel the same about me in any way. It’s okay if you don’t (although you don’t need my permission for this either… I am well aware of this). I understand how these things work in a logical sense. However, I also know I’m terrible in situations where my emotions get in the way. When my heart is involved, everything becomes muddy, and it takes addressing the situation head-on to gain clarity. I’m sorry that this may come at the expense of our friendship, but I needed to let you know so I can deal with it regardless of what happens. I hope if there is nothing else that we can remain friends, but if not, I understand


You must feel. I just hope that the predicaments are more forgiving of you, you lovelies.

Written by uncannynerdyguy

April 16, 2020 at 11:16 pm

Super Bowl Halftime and Lady Gaga’s Subtle but Powerful Protest

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By now, you’ve probably seen Gaga’s Super Bowl halftime show (if not, it’s above). It was pretty epic. However, many people were expecting her to be more political. And I think that she was in her own subtle yet powerful way.


I think that rhetorically, Lady Gaga’s halftime performance is interesting. A lot of people went in expecting her to be overtly political and to use her platform to address Trump’s politics and policies. However, I think that she does that here and in a way that puts the ideas of oneness, American for all, and acceptance into the minds of those watching. This is interesting because it makes me wonder how many more her subtle message connected with.

Starting with “God Bless America,” “This Land is Your Land,” and a line from the Pledge of Allegiance, she set up that this was a performance that was about America. Then, she moved into a line “I’m on the edge” from “Edge of Glory.” This makes me wonder if this was a move to set up her precarious position as an entertainer and the line that she’s walking here with her politics, which helps make sense of “Poker Face” coming next. As she puts on a show that people didn’t expect, she has to keep up a face that you “can’t read.”

The next song is the most overt as she sings “Born this Way.” The song proclaims:

“There’s nothing wrong with loving who you are”
She said, “‘Cause he made you perfect, babe”
“So hold your head up girl and you’ll go far,
Listen to me when I say.”

And she moves into the bridge which is the most overtly political and biting of Trump’s administration (with Pence in the audience no less):

Don’t be a drag, just be a queen
Whether you’re broke or evergreen
You’re black, white, beige, chola descent
You’re Lebanese, you’re orient
Whether life’s disabilities
Left you outcast, bullied, or teased
Rejoice and love yourself today
’cause baby you were born this way

No matter gay, straight, or bi,
Lesbian, transgendered life,
I’m on the right track baby,
I was born to survive.
No matter black, white or beige
Chola or orient made,
I’m on the right track baby,
I was born to be brave.

This speaks to the spirit of those who are fighting the injustice that is present all around us. Fighting the bans, fighting the infringing of rights.

Her next two songs are party anthems “Telephone” and “Just Dance”, which might feel oddly placed; however, they work perfectly to amp up the crowd and subtly to pull away from the overt politicism of the last song. Yet it could also be said these songs are to remind that even in the midst of these hard times one needs to “just dance” not to be consumed as “It’ll be okay.” Moreover, with these being dance music, again, we have the spirit of LGBTQ being brought forward as dance music and congregation takes place in LGBTQ bars all over the nation.

Finally, Gaga segues into her final songs: “Million Reasons” and “Bad Romance.” Even before she begins the song, Gaga says, “How are you doing Texas? America? World? How you doing tonight? We’re here to make you feel good. You wanna feel good with us?” This statement and the first line of the song “Million Reasons” brings us back to our theme of America (and arguable the world):

You’re giving me a million reasons to let you go
You’re giving me a million reasons to quit the show
You’re givin’ me a million reasons
Give me a million reasons
Givin’ me a million reasons
About a million reasons

Here, we are faced with the idea that even in the midst of the turmoil and the “million reasons to let. . .go” that we “just need one good one to stay” whatever that may be. As the beat picks up and we go into “Bad Romance,” we are ultimately reminded of (hopefully) the temporal nature of our current affairs as we are “caught in a bad romance” and will ultimately find ourselves out of it.

If you team this with the visual rhetoric (of which there is so much Gaga’s ultra-fashion pants suit, the diversity of the dancers moving freely around the stage, the reminiscence of the lights the crowd carries to those of protests and mourning ceremonies), I think that Lady Gaga does protest in her own way. She brings attention to certain issues and shows us the indefatigable nature of the human spirit even in the face of uncertainty. And although she yells “Super Bowl 51” at the end, she literally drops the mic before diving into the crowd.

Written by uncannynerdyguy

February 5, 2017 at 10:20 pm

The Song in My Head: “First Time He Kissed a Boy”

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I found this song today. It popped up in my YouTube feed, and I clicked into it. It’s from Danish band Kadie Elder. And its message is comes from the turmoil that is teenage years in the lives of young men and women. They move from the “first time he kissed a boy” to lead us into what comes next. The idea behind the song is simple, but for me, it sends a positive message.

Growing up in the rural South where being gay / trans / bi is oftentimes looked down on and even seen as a black mark on persons, I think we need a little more of the understanding and positive message inherent here to push the hate and bigotry out of the way. Enjoy the song and the video.


Written by uncannynerdyguy

March 2, 2016 at 9:15 pm