Bleh with Barry

Random with a cynical twist of lime.

Posts Tagged ‘life

Understanding People

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Sometimes, I try to hard to understand why people do the things that they do. Why do some people  create a pattern for their behaviors and then

By CrazyPhunk (Own work) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

do something completely out of this character they have developed? Is it for spite or are they just that sporadic? Why do people choose to be vultures in a parking lot and wait for 15 minutes on a parking place when they could have parked and been in the store already? Why do some people say they are content for years and, then, one day up and completely change what they were doing or who they hang around? Why do people hate those who come to this country to make a better life for themselves by doing jobs that we don’t give two shits about when we are all immigrants ourselves? Why do I ask a shit ton of questions for which I have no answers that even begin to scratch the surface of any of the issues?

I am a people watcher. I like to be around people and interact with them. Now, this should not be mistaken that I like the majority of people because that is simply not true. There are those people who get on my nerves, those that I view as acquaintances, those that I am becoming friends with, those that are my good friends, those that I consider to be my best friends, and then, there’s my family (which is an entirely different story for another time). I like the idea of people, but sometimes they give me no options but to distrust and shy away from them. This comes from the whole idea of really getting into the psyche of a person.  I want to know why people do what they do. What motivates them to be and exist? What causes them to do what they do when they do it? Is there a pattern? Or are they completely random?

By Arquivo da família (Arquivo da família) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Someone might ask me why I do this. It’s because I feel that everyone has something that is worth examining. Now, this may make me sound cold and scientific, but dismantling the why of a person can be interesting and intense. It can also drive you crazy if there seems to be no reason why someone has done something that makes you angry or sad or happy or whatever. I know it makes me crazy because I want to know this “why” of people….we are creatures that are born with a higher functioning brain for a reason. But what is that and why do we choose to do what we do?

At this point, it’s almost one in the morning, and I’m sitting here writing this when I should be in bed. I’m beginning to ramble, but part of me wants to keep writing because sometimes I wonder why it is that I continue to write blogs that deal with poetry, irritating things, random movies, etc. I know that I enjoy doing it, but is this simple answer a good one in and of itself? Or is there something more that I should delve into to really seek out the heart of why it is that I write? That I continue to watch people? That I continue to question why people feel that they don’t have to explain themselves whenever they perform actions that are out of character for them?

Honestly, I know that I will continue to question people’s motivations. However, maybe I should be asking myself: why the fuck do I care? Again, I’m not completely sure…maybe, it’s because I look for the good in people…who knows? Maybe, I’m just crazy myself…

Written by uncannynerdyguy

October 11, 2011 at 11:51 pm

Out of the Bag

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A screech from my soul

Into the dark night. But

You’re standing with your

MP3 player blocking out

The sound of my pleadings.

All that you hear is the sound

Of 90’s grunge echoing against

My cries. Why won’t you listen to

Me? Why can’t you see? But you

Stand there, sipping your latte

While the car crushes your

Brittle ego.

Written by uncannynerdyguy

September 20, 2011 at 9:14 pm

Posted in Poetry

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A Troubled Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste

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By Jonathan Joseph Bondhus (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

So, I’m not going to bore you with details, but needless to say, I am a little frustrated of late. However, I find that this is getting me to write on my blog more. Now, some may say that this is weird, but I find that it helps keep me busy  while I am mentally working out a problem. So, yeah… anyway, I thought that I would let all my subscribers know that I am going to try to find more time to write in between my work week at grad school and my time I spend studying and such Here’s to writing!

–Barry

Written by uncannynerdyguy

September 19, 2011 at 10:19 pm

Posted in life, writing

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Forcing It

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A ditty drums endlessly

Through my head reminding

Me of you. And I

Smile. Yet, even with this smile,

I know that something is unsettled

Between the folds of my mind.

A silence pervades

The space between

Yesterday and tomorrow

But today does not exist.

It is only a hope or

A memory, nothing

More. The piano player

Forgets the music and

I slip into triviality as

The dancing bear taps on.

Written by uncannynerdyguy

September 17, 2011 at 11:43 pm

Posted in Poetry

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Fear 96 of 101: People Wearing White Linen Pants and Shorts

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So, recently, on the campus that I work at / go to, I have seen an increasing number of people (both male and female) wearing white linen pants. Moreover, these pants are sheer…which isn’t so bad unless you see that the people are going commando under them. Both of the people I have seen of late were not wearing any underwear, and let’s just say that nothing was left to the imagination. Now, I’m all for people feeling free in their own skin, but I am not a fan of seeing another guy’s or woman’s genitalia while I’m walking about doing my daily activities.

 

**Sheerness levels increase and decrease–For both of these individuals that I saw, it made me wonder what they would do if they got especially sweaty or if it decided to rain that day…Then, we go from sheer with the partial view to complete peepshow…I honestly don’t understand why people would do this because you’re out there, both figuratively and literally.

**God forbid they should not cleanse themselves when going to the bathroom–I don’t feel like I should have to spell this one out…so, I’m not going to…yeah…

My suggestion is either 1) don’t wear the pants like this because they freak people out (I know personally I can’t have a serious conversation with anyone wearing these sheer pants like this…why? Because I’m sitting there going “don’t make eye contact with it…) or 2) wear some damn underwear (I know that it might not look the best in the world because the pants are the aforementioned sheer…but no one really wants to see what you’re packing downstairs [unless otherwise indicated in some other manner]). So, yeah….

Written by uncannynerdyguy

March 18, 2011 at 10:23 pm

A Cynical Life

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Recently, brace yourselves, I have discovered that I have apparently been a cynical person for a while. What led me to this conclusion? Well, it involved going to lunch with some of my friends form high school. Now, for some of you who know me, high school has been a few years ago. (side note: I”m not super young. However, I’m still fairly young….but that’s beside the point, I didn’t want to paint myself as some old troll under the bridge waiting for passersby.) Anyway, we were sitting there reminiscing about high school and talking about life when the idea of what we had originally majored in in college came up, and one of my friends commented that she was originally going to be an accountant.

Well, we kept chatting, and I said that I could never be an accountant because I would be so bored by the monotony of it all…I also said something to the effect of “I would have to go to the store and buy razor blades to spice things up because I would wonder is today going to be the day.” This received a chuckle from the table, and everyone commented that I’m the same old Barry…honestly, I did not realize that I have been this way for years…however a group of four people wouldn’t tell lies (and a communal one at that) would they?

Honestly, I think that a resolution (and I know that it’s a little late in the month of January for this) for me would be to be a little less cynical that what I am….Understandablly, I don’t think that I will quit being cynical entirely because I think that is part of who I am. It’s also what gives me some of my dry wit and makes me a little weird and fun…however, I think that having a more positive cynicism might be better…it’s achieving this sort of thing that may be nigh impossible. (Additionally, just to let you all know, I believe that the glass could be filled up or could be emptied fairly quickly by chugging depending on what’s inside.)

Written by uncannynerdyguy

January 11, 2011 at 10:32 pm

Living

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Daily, I battle

The tempest trying to

Blow my spirit into

Submission.

It takes me by

Surprise and sucks the

Wind out of my chilled

Lungs.

Drowning on the land, it’s

Harder to breathe

Sleeping in a bed of

Squalor.

Slowly hands touch,

Lips meet, a run of electricity

Up my spine

Shooting.

Emptiness cannot be

Voided by this

Illusion playing…

Lying.

Written by uncannynerdyguy

November 3, 2010 at 1:22 am

Posted in Poetry

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The World or Something Like It

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Clarity is rarely afforded

To the masses.

Driving in our cars

Listening to our music

Flipping off the other

Cutting into our lane.

A silicon dream bought by

Blood and sweat and rage.

Can we fix it?!?

No, we can’t.

Written by uncannynerdyguy

October 14, 2010 at 11:34 am

Hi, I’m Barry, and I’m a Procrastinating Perfectionist

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Being in Graduate school now, I’m realizing that some of my old ways will not fly simply because of the amount of work that I’m having to do for school in tandem with teaching time and preparation. I am having to break some of the habits that I have acquired in my undergrad and that I’ve developed as of being out of school for the past couple of years…*sigh*….however, the biggest one of these is my procrastinating perfectionism.

It’s a terrible thing to be actually…if I didn’t give a shit it would all be okay. However, I do care about the quality of my work and will stay up late the night before an assignment is due trying to bang it out and bring it up to my standards at the same time. Now, I will not say that I have ever been a “great” writer because believe me I can improve. Yet, recently, I’ve realized that with the amount of reading that I do for classes in a weeks time teamed with this is likely the recipe for disaster. So, I’m trying to do a few things to help me keep focused and moving forward.

1) Having a schedule. At least mentally, I want to have my days nailed down so I know exactly what I need to do to get my work accomplished and still have some time for Barry. I know some people might say that I need a planner, and maybe I do. However, they have never worked for me in the past. I can’t see them working for me now…

2) Try to finish drafts of paper in advance of the final due date. This may seem like a no brainer to some people out there, but to me, it seems practically foreign. My mind says that I will do better if I work under pressure. Still, a part of me knows that it would be a great relief to have the stress removed from my mind earlier, and then, I could polish the drafts to make them better, rather than turning in a first draft. Doing so could also help me get people to look over my work and check for those dreaded grammatical errors…people are much more willing if you do it in advance…

3) Try to remain organized. Now, I won’t say that I’ve ever won an award for being the most organized person in the world, but I do try to stay on top of things. My theory is if I keep things were they are accessible and evident that I might not lose something…which is the worst feeling in the world (I’m actually looking for a copy of Microsoft Office right now that I have misplaced…it’s old, but I need it for a new PC).

Maybe with a little determination and force of will, I can keep up with these few guidelines that I’ve set for myself and won’t be freaking out at the time of finals wondering how in the hell I’m going to finish everything that I’ve let pile up around me. They say the first step in fixing a problem is to admit it…so, yeah….that one is out of the way.

Written by uncannynerdyguy

September 27, 2010 at 2:44 pm

Mental Gymnastics

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My mind feels like a butterfly clamped between the thumb and index finger of a young child…You may be wondering how something like this may be relevant to my random stream of thought in the world at large and on some hand it might not be connected at all…or maybe it’s more interconnected that anyone could ever dream.

In the past few weeks, I have went from working a job at a Kroger in Nashville doing multiple different things. On my off days, I would try to coordinate an upcoming move (which has just happened, matter-of-factly, I just moved…more on that in a bit). It was hectic to say the least between people needing me to do my job at the company and me needing well me to get prepared for a change of scenery.

The move finally happened, and now, I am settling into a new place. New apartment, new people, new job, new station in life for a while, new…well everything. I know that I might not have mentioned this in my blog thus far, but I am embarking on a new journey into a graduate program. As of right now, I don’t know what to think or feel other than nervous and a little scared because I’ve been out of formal academic classroom setting for a couple of years. I am antsy overall. To top this, I feel like a little fish in a big pond to use a very clichéd simile. I don’t know what to expect and am questioning my validity somewhat. Maybe it’s the first week jitters…who knows?

All I know is that I hope that as I begin to settle into a routine and get some semblance of familiarity and balance that life will begin to not feel like I am flapping fruitlessly in the chubby fingers of some child. While there is much more I could write, I believe that I might be sounding whiny or bitchy in some way…sooooo, I think that it’s better if I just leave it at that. C’est la vie.

Written by uncannynerdyguy

August 18, 2010 at 2:20 pm

Posted in life, Random, School

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