Bleh with Barry

Random with a cynical twist of lime.

Posts Tagged ‘life

Crystaline Clear

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My mentality slips

Just a particle more everyday.

Between each palpitation

Of my still beating heart.

What is right and good

Never comes into play

Because of the insanity,

The instability that I flaunt.

Inside my crystal cage,

The key hangs from her fingers

Beckoning to me to grasp it…

Alas, I reach for the wrong key in this

Hall of mirrors, and

She laughs at me unmercifully.

Written by uncannynerdyguy

August 9, 2010 at 8:51 pm

Posted in Poetry

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Sentimentality

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We dance on a knife’s edge.

Each day we put ourselves

Perilously close to unbalancing.

Our words twist us into

Knots…of flesh and mortality.

A tear is not merely a tear.

It is a sign that we need help to

Pull us from the ice that overwhelms

The paltry senses.

Written by uncannynerdyguy

July 22, 2010 at 7:41 pm

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Working with People

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I will be the first person to say that if it weren’t for the weird hours and getting less sleep than I usually would third shifts would be for me (matter of factly, I’m working thirds right now which really sucks because I can’t hang out with my friends like I would want to…but it pays better). Why you might ask? It’s because the people you have to deal with working a daytime job…Yes, I know that there will always be people who you will have to deal with on any job…but I’m not talking about the customers. I am in fact talking about the darling coworkers that people have at any job.

I am currently working at a grocery store for the summer. It is a good job, and people I like do work there. However, on the contrary, there is such a  mash-up of personalities that at times I really just want to smack someone and tell them that they are fine. For instance, today, a person I work with came in and was complaining that they were off for two days and now they would have to work to fill the whole in their case and would have to do another job too. They went on to bitch for the better part of two or two and a half hours while nothing was getting done…there I was, I thought many things which I probably shouldn’t share (if you know me, you’ll know that there was probably a cavalcade of colorful language). The common theme of the thoughts was that if she would work instead of bitch things would get done.

Well, you have this person who is a whiner. You have another person who is a dick without justification. You have others who are dumb as rocks and ask how to do things every fifteen minutes. Enter why I don’t like working with others who are not motivated. IF they are motivated and only IF they are motivated will they get passed these things that hold them back and do their job the best that they can.

I feel like I am a very self-motivated person. I have worked several jobs where I did not have a supervisor looking over my shoulders all the time and performed very well. During most of these jobs, I had minimal to moderate interaction with my coworkers. When I did, it was usually with people I consider to be like me which led to an enriching experience. Why can’t all jobs be more like this?

Written by uncannynerdyguy

July 22, 2010 at 7:38 pm

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Flight

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Soaring over the fields of

Amber heroin.

Leaving sorrows to the

Clouds of crystal meth.

Watching my fears falter

With every cocaine snowed treat.

Electricity fills me for an instant

As the mingling takes me to nirvana.

Suddenly, I crash down to earth

With beeping and screaming and

Flashing lights. Muttering visages

Think that they tethered me in time,

Clipping my wings to keep me from soaring

Away.

Written by uncannynerdyguy

July 6, 2010 at 10:29 am

Posted in Art, Poetry

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A Transitory Life

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Since completing college in the spring of 2008, both years have been completely different in regards to where I lived, who I lived with/around, and what I was doing. Now, with the news that I will be getting to go to Graduate School in the fall and that I will be a Graduate Teaching Assistant, my life is again about to change.

The year after my bachelor’s degree was awarded was spent in Nashville, Tn. Here I worked at a Kroger with some of the most interesting people that I can ever say I have worked with. It was a fun job, and life in general was pretty care-free. I lived with several of my roommates from college, and we were all pretty much degenerates for the majority of the time that we lived there.

The past year 2009-2010 (and given, I’m talking in terms of school years because that’s how my life has been tailored), I have been teaching and tutoring at my Alma Mater. It has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. I have gotten to reconnect with so many people, and they have become my close friends. We have had many fun and exciting times. From game nights to walks about the town or talks about the chores that their household will perform, we have created memories that I will chuckle about for years to come.

Now, however, I am about to embark on my third completely different journey in as many years, I am about to head off to graduate school. I don’t know what it holds for me. I know that if I can keep my wits about me that I will succeed because I know that it will not be entirely easy…is there anything in life that’s good that is easy? If all goes well, in a couple of years, I should have a Masters degree in some English field (still haven’t quite pegged down what I want yet).

So, yeah, that’s just a brief overview of what’s going on with me. My life seems in a constant state of flux, but as one really annoying person from my past said to me “Blessed are the Flexible for they shall not break.” I will continue to be flexible. Change is usually good. I mean after all isn’t variety the spice of life?

Written by uncannynerdyguy

May 1, 2010 at 11:53 am

Posted in life

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Lately

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In the past few seconds,

I know that I have not been

Who people expect me to be.

I am in constant transition

Between what is right

And what is gray area.

In this infinitesimal space

Of time and emotion that we

Call living.

Each of us strives

To dance to our own

Drumbeats.

Some of us, however,

Do not know that our drummer

Is dead…and a beat box of monotony awaits.

Written by uncannynerdyguy

April 22, 2010 at 11:54 pm

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Happy People and Liars

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So, in my wanderings to and fro in the earth and walking up in down in it (did you like how I just alluded to me being some demonic figure), I have come into contact with many, many people. Now, most people are okay to be around for short amounts of time, but others make me want to club them so that the Sabertooth Tiger outside can have its way with them. Yet, there are some people that I’ll never understand entirely, and these are the ones that it seems like it should be the easiest to understand…the happy people.

You know the ones that I’m talking about. The people who always seem to be happy no matter what happens to them. It’s quite an odd phenomenon if you ask me. However, part of me realizes that for most, this is a finely crafted front. I mean honestly is there anyone out there who could be happy all the time. The answer is no. People by the nature of being people cannot be happy all the time. So therefore, I present to you my strata of “happy” and not-so-happy people.

1) The normal people. These are the ones who seem to be happy at times and are sad, angry, scared, etc. when it is right that they should be. Most people fit into this category if they are any kind of an emotionally mature adult. Let’s face it everyone goes through a plethora of emotions on a daily basis…it’s only a natural thing.

2) The sad sacks/Emo kids. To find a true one of these is rare. I am of the mindset that they don’t really exist and that the people who claim to be them are not really. These people are the ones who always seem to be sad. I don’t know how anyone can accomplish this short of having some mental disorder that they have to treat with medication. People just are sad all the time for no reason…and to those out there who believe they are “emo kids” grow up for the love of God…it’s not all bad. Find something that makes you happy.

3) Happy People: These are the ones that I would consider to be the worst off of all. Why? Because they are the emotional bottlers. They face the world with smile whether it be a real one or one that they have painted on for years. I think they are the worst off because most of them don’t even know that they are making themselves miserable. It’s a fact of the matter that people need to be angry and sad sometimes…You can’t face everything with a smile….and let’s just face it bottling everything up within the framework of that smile isn’t going to end well for someone some day…I also tend to think of these people as “liars”. Not because they necessarily lie to people…but because they are lying to themselves…if you’re not happy, you need to know yourself well enough to be able to openly admit that.

Why you might ask yourself did I write this blog? Well, it’s simple. I have people like the 3rd group around me all the time, and it weirds me out on some level to think that behind that finely polished facade, there is more going on that their smile keeps locked in…and I wonder why.

Written by uncannynerdyguy

April 9, 2010 at 11:48 pm

Half-Living

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A shell of former being

A chrysalis, a husk,

A new life springing

from the old.

I am a the eternal

Singing from beneath

My foliage umbrella

Dreams of days gone by.

Written by uncannynerdyguy

March 29, 2010 at 11:20 pm

Scattered: An Ode to Chaos

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Right now, I am on a rollercoaster as far as my life. Why? Because I have placed myself there. I know that it may not seem like I need to be blogging with the amount of stuff that I have to do; however, it seems to be the only thing that is keeping me sane at the present moment in time.

Along with teaching 3 classes (with the nearing of the end of the semester, the grading is getting a little chaotic) and tutoring in our school’s writing center (around 17-20 hours a week), I am also involved in things that I love to do but have also realized that I may have bitten off more than I can chew. Doing two plays in a semester along with being in 2 choirs is kind time consuming to do. Some days I look at what I’ve accomplished for that day and think that I’m lucky to fit it all in….(believe me much prioritization goes into this…some things suffer. However, I give full attention to my job. After all, that is what I’m getting paid to do. And if I don’t, 40 some odd people are not going to be getting the attention and time they deserve).

Don’t get me wrong….I’m not bitching because I’m doing all these things. Matter of factly, I love to do all the things that I’ve mentioned. It’s just that I feel like I may be slacking time wise on some of them. I’m also trying to get my future life together as well. I’m planning on returning to Graduate school in the fall…and have yet to give this the full attention that it deserves  because I’m a person who focuses on the present. However, I’ve been seeing that I do need to devote some time to these “future” prospects because I do want to get my Master’s degree…yet, I feel on some level that myself is trying to undermine me…who knows?

I’m actually writing this to myself to tell myself: “Self, you need to suck it up and do everything. Also, invest in a PDA because that would probably help make your life a little more organized.” Now, all of you out there in the interweb may be thinking that I’m crazy, but I”m hoping that this will help organize the chaos of my mind by writing it all down and seeing what tips others might have for me.

Written by uncannynerdyguy

March 24, 2010 at 2:08 pm

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“The Road Not Taken”

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“The Road Not Taken”

By Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;         5
 
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,         10
 
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.         15
 
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.         20
 

Each person in their life has a path that lies before them. And I am well aware of that as I continue to plow my way through this world in which we live. I have no clue where I’m going, but I try to make the best of the journey that I’m on. I meet new people along the way; some of which I think of as good friends. And I will be hurt whenever I part from them because I am a person who doesn’t make good connections with people very regularly…it is really a depressing time when I have to lose the camaraderie that I had with a person. It’s a fact that I discovered a long time ago.

While Frost’s poem is good in theory, he thinks of his traveler as one person, but this idea of one person on a road is absurd because we never really travel together(and don’t get me wrong, I do get the message of the poem, but go with me here). Each of us is on this road with our friends and family and have to make a decision whether to keep traveling with the group or whether to break up the fellowship as it were into smaller groups. Each of which goes down each of the multiple paths. Some traveling down the less traveled road, and others will trudge down the well traveled path to avoid disturbing their universe.

Each of us has a destiny in my opinion. We have fellow travelers with us on our own roads. Each of them is looking for something out of the world. It’s nice to have the companionship, but sooner or later, it is a possibility that ways will have to be parted. However, I think the musical Wicked had the right idea about friendship. In the song “For Good”, Glinda and Elphaba sing about changing each other for the better because they have been friends.

“Because I knew you…
I have been changed for good…”

I guess I got on this topic of thought because I was thinking about my next step of going to Graduate School and getting my Master’s Degree. It’s kind of bitter sweet almost because I know that my path will once again be diverging from people that I love and have become attached to…but C ‘est la vie…just like in The Lord of the Rings, the fellowship may be broken, but we’ll still be rooting for the others to get to their own personal Mt. Doom.

God, I hope I didn’t come off sounding like an emo kid…because if I did, I would be rather disappointed in myself…however, I don’t think my writing is angsty enough (hey, had to put a touch of humor at the end.)

Written by uncannynerdyguy

March 20, 2010 at 11:49 pm