Bleh with Barry

Random with a cynical twist of lime.

Posts Tagged ‘life

The World or Something Like It

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Clarity is rarely afforded

To the masses.

Driving in our cars

Listening to our music

Flipping off the other

Cutting into our lane.

A silicon dream bought by

Blood and sweat and rage.

Can we fix it?!?

No, we can’t.

Written by uncannynerdyguy

October 14, 2010 at 11:34 am

Hi, I’m Barry, and I’m a Procrastinating Perfectionist

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Being in Graduate school now, I’m realizing that some of my old ways will not fly simply because of the amount of work that I’m having to do for school in tandem with teaching time and preparation. I am having to break some of the habits that I have acquired in my undergrad and that I’ve developed as of being out of school for the past couple of years…*sigh*….however, the biggest one of these is my procrastinating perfectionism.

It’s a terrible thing to be actually…if I didn’t give a shit it would all be okay. However, I do care about the quality of my work and will stay up late the night before an assignment is due trying to bang it out and bring it up to my standards at the same time. Now, I will not say that I have ever been a “great” writer because believe me I can improve. Yet, recently, I’ve realized that with the amount of reading that I do for classes in a weeks time teamed with this is likely the recipe for disaster. So, I’m trying to do a few things to help me keep focused and moving forward.

1) Having a schedule. At least mentally, I want to have my days nailed down so I know exactly what I need to do to get my work accomplished and still have some time for Barry. I know some people might say that I need a planner, and maybe I do. However, they have never worked for me in the past. I can’t see them working for me now…

2) Try to finish drafts of paper in advance of the final due date. This may seem like a no brainer to some people out there, but to me, it seems practically foreign. My mind says that I will do better if I work under pressure. Still, a part of me knows that it would be a great relief to have the stress removed from my mind earlier, and then, I could polish the drafts to make them better, rather than turning in a first draft. Doing so could also help me get people to look over my work and check for those dreaded grammatical errors…people are much more willing if you do it in advance…

3) Try to remain organized. Now, I won’t say that I’ve ever won an award for being the most organized person in the world, but I do try to stay on top of things. My theory is if I keep things were they are accessible and evident that I might not lose something…which is the worst feeling in the world (I’m actually looking for a copy of Microsoft Office right now that I have misplaced…it’s old, but I need it for a new PC).

Maybe with a little determination and force of will, I can keep up with these few guidelines that I’ve set for myself and won’t be freaking out at the time of finals wondering how in the hell I’m going to finish everything that I’ve let pile up around me. They say the first step in fixing a problem is to admit it…so, yeah….that one is out of the way.

Written by uncannynerdyguy

September 27, 2010 at 2:44 pm

Mental Gymnastics

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My mind feels like a butterfly clamped between the thumb and index finger of a young child…You may be wondering how something like this may be relevant to my random stream of thought in the world at large and on some hand it might not be connected at all…or maybe it’s more interconnected that anyone could ever dream.

In the past few weeks, I have went from working a job at a Kroger in Nashville doing multiple different things. On my off days, I would try to coordinate an upcoming move (which has just happened, matter-of-factly, I just moved…more on that in a bit). It was hectic to say the least between people needing me to do my job at the company and me needing well me to get prepared for a change of scenery.

The move finally happened, and now, I am settling into a new place. New apartment, new people, new job, new station in life for a while, new…well everything. I know that I might not have mentioned this in my blog thus far, but I am embarking on a new journey into a graduate program. As of right now, I don’t know what to think or feel other than nervous and a little scared because I’ve been out of formal academic classroom setting for a couple of years. I am antsy overall. To top this, I feel like a little fish in a big pond to use a very clichéd simile. I don’t know what to expect and am questioning my validity somewhat. Maybe it’s the first week jitters…who knows?

All I know is that I hope that as I begin to settle into a routine and get some semblance of familiarity and balance that life will begin to not feel like I am flapping fruitlessly in the chubby fingers of some child. While there is much more I could write, I believe that I might be sounding whiny or bitchy in some way…sooooo, I think that it’s better if I just leave it at that. C’est la vie.

Written by uncannynerdyguy

August 18, 2010 at 2:20 pm

Posted in life, Random, School

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Crystaline Clear

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My mentality slips

Just a particle more everyday.

Between each palpitation

Of my still beating heart.

What is right and good

Never comes into play

Because of the insanity,

The instability that I flaunt.

Inside my crystal cage,

The key hangs from her fingers

Beckoning to me to grasp it…

Alas, I reach for the wrong key in this

Hall of mirrors, and

She laughs at me unmercifully.

Written by uncannynerdyguy

August 9, 2010 at 8:51 pm

Posted in Poetry

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Sentimentality

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We dance on a knife’s edge.

Each day we put ourselves

Perilously close to unbalancing.

Our words twist us into

Knots…of flesh and mortality.

A tear is not merely a tear.

It is a sign that we need help to

Pull us from the ice that overwhelms

The paltry senses.

Written by uncannynerdyguy

July 22, 2010 at 7:41 pm

Posted in Poetry

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Working with People

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I will be the first person to say that if it weren’t for the weird hours and getting less sleep than I usually would third shifts would be for me (matter of factly, I’m working thirds right now which really sucks because I can’t hang out with my friends like I would want to…but it pays better). Why you might ask? It’s because the people you have to deal with working a daytime job…Yes, I know that there will always be people who you will have to deal with on any job…but I’m not talking about the customers. I am in fact talking about the darling coworkers that people have at any job.

I am currently working at a grocery store for the summer. It is a good job, and people I like do work there. However, on the contrary, there is such a  mash-up of personalities that at times I really just want to smack someone and tell them that they are fine. For instance, today, a person I work with came in and was complaining that they were off for two days and now they would have to work to fill the whole in their case and would have to do another job too. They went on to bitch for the better part of two or two and a half hours while nothing was getting done…there I was, I thought many things which I probably shouldn’t share (if you know me, you’ll know that there was probably a cavalcade of colorful language). The common theme of the thoughts was that if she would work instead of bitch things would get done.

Well, you have this person who is a whiner. You have another person who is a dick without justification. You have others who are dumb as rocks and ask how to do things every fifteen minutes. Enter why I don’t like working with others who are not motivated. IF they are motivated and only IF they are motivated will they get passed these things that hold them back and do their job the best that they can.

I feel like I am a very self-motivated person. I have worked several jobs where I did not have a supervisor looking over my shoulders all the time and performed very well. During most of these jobs, I had minimal to moderate interaction with my coworkers. When I did, it was usually with people I consider to be like me which led to an enriching experience. Why can’t all jobs be more like this?

Written by uncannynerdyguy

July 22, 2010 at 7:38 pm

Posted in life

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Flight

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Soaring over the fields of

Amber heroin.

Leaving sorrows to the

Clouds of crystal meth.

Watching my fears falter

With every cocaine snowed treat.

Electricity fills me for an instant

As the mingling takes me to nirvana.

Suddenly, I crash down to earth

With beeping and screaming and

Flashing lights. Muttering visages

Think that they tethered me in time,

Clipping my wings to keep me from soaring

Away.

Written by uncannynerdyguy

July 6, 2010 at 10:29 am

Posted in Art, Poetry

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