Bleh with Barry

Random with a cynical twist of lime.

Posts Tagged ‘relationships

Send in the Clowns

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So, today, when I arrived back at my apartment after being out all day. I settled in front of my computer for a few minutes before I went to shower and ready myself for bed, and a song popped into my head because I was in the appropriate mood for it. “Send in the Clowns” from the Sondheim musical A Little Night Music, which I don’t know a terrible lot about, arrived in my psyche.

If you’re familiar with the song, it is generally sung by a woman, and it almost seems like she is talking about being in a circus…because this is what all the metaphors and similes contained within the piece are about. But if you go deeper, you will find that the song is actually about a failing relationship which seems like it is just falling apart. In the course of the song, the actress sings that people need to send in the clowns to detract from what is really going on (in the circus world of old this was actually done if something happened unexpectedly). She continues to plead with them and her lover as the song progresses until at the very end she says “don’t bother, they’re here” referring to herself and her mate. She knows that their relationship is in a funk that will probably never resolve itself. Thereby, it is a mockery and a show to all who look upon it. They are in fact the clowns.

Today, this song entered my mind because of the mood that I’ve been in. Now, I don’t have a faltering relationship that I’m dealing with or anything to that effect. It’s just that I feel like my world is topsy-turvy, and I feel like I myself am on display as a clown (not to say that I don’t enjoy being a clown every once and a while). It’s just such an odd feeling. I’m not necessarily saying that it’s a bad feeling either…it’s just an emotion that is going wonky on me…hmmmmm….Anyway, here’s a great version of the song performed by Glenn Close. I hope you enjoy.

Being Alive?

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In the show stopping number from the musical Company, the main character Robert (or Bobby) is accosted by the people around him because they want him to settle down and marry. They think that it will make him happy to have someone that needs and loves him. And through the song “Being Alive”, we are shown that Bobby wants this relationship, too. But the question I must ask is why does someone have to have a significant other in order for society to see them as the “norm”? I mean seriously what is so wrong with being able to live your life without having someone there wondering where you are or having to check with someone else before you make decisions that might effect you both.

“Being Alive”

By Stephen Sondheim

Someone to crowd you with love,
Someone to force you to care,
Someone to make you come through,
Who’ll always be there,
As frightened as you
Of being alive,
Being alive,
Being alive,
Being alive.

AMY: Blow out the candles, Robert, and make a wish. *Want* something!
Want *something*!

ROBERT:
Somebody, hold me too close,
Somebody, hurt me too deep,
Somebody, sit in my chair
And ruin my sleep
And make me aware
Of being alive,
Being alive.

Somebody, need me too much,
Somebody, know me too well,
Somebody, pull me up short
And put me through hell
And give me support
For being alive,
Make me alive.

Make me confused,
Mock me with praise,
Let me be used,
Vary my days.
But alone is alone, not alive.

Somebody, crowd me with love,
Somebody, force me to care,
Somebody, make me come through,
I’ll always be there,
As frightened as you,
To help us survive
Being alive,
Being alive,
Being alive!

I understand that having a significant other is a noble ideal for most people. I would like to find someone someday, settle down, and have children. I think that that is the preprogrammed animal-side of humanity that courses through our brains. Yet, I also have other goals and dreams which I don’t think I could accomplish if I have a spouse and kids in tow…I mean I would love to visit the world, teach abroad, backpack through Europe, and many other (now clichéd) things. I just don’t think that it’s practical for me to get married right now. Also, I don’t know that I’ve met a woman lately that I would feel comfortable dating…I’m picky…but in a relationship one has to be…Right?

The reason why I am thinking about this subject is one because the song “Being Alive” popped up in a shuffle mix on my iTunes and two because every time I go home my mother asks me about any female friend I’ve been lately…seriously, if I’ve mentioned that I’ve hung out with them at all, she starts asking me about how they’re doing and what they’re doing and such. She’s being very transparent whether intentionally or no…I don’t know….I really just want to ask her can’t I be alone and be happy without her trying to hitch me to someone.

Understandably, my brother and sisters were all married by their early 20’s. Now, as I approach my mid-20’s, I suppose she thinks that I should be married and have kids (mind you, my siblings have grandkids…so that’s not a viable hypothesis).However, I do not see it as such. I’m fine with being free and easy with no ties. Like I said, I do want to marry someday, but right now, I’m a little more career and future oriented.

On the other hand, I am also realistic. If I did meet someone in the next couple of years or months even that I fell in love with, I wouldn’t put that on hold because of my previously said ideas. I would probably marry and continue with everything (a little differently but trying to go down the same course). I guess some people would think that I’m a cynic…and honestly, I’m fine with that in the grand scheme of thing. Think me a cynic, think me an asshole, or think me an angel…it’s really whatever. I know that I will find my own path to “Being Alive”…it’s just a little further down the line.

Written by uncannynerdyguy

March 14, 2010 at 9:31 pm